Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Something Smells Really Bad Around Here

Awhile back, the Juice promised a review of scented Play-Doh. Well today I’m here to finally make good. What took me so long? Well the truth is, gettin' a hold of the stuff. It just seemed like a slam dunk. I mean Play-Doh is everyfuckwhere right? Every store’s got the shit. I figured I’d pick it up right as I was ready to review it. I wanted to do a few other articles, then get back to the D’oh. I mean Doh. But then I couldn’t find it. Anywhere. I was beginning to think that maybe I was seein' things. That maybe the stuff didn’t actually exist.

Well, the Juice is here to tell ya that the stuff does exist. And I’m also here to tell ya all about it. Good luck findin' it for yourself, though. If I wasn’t so dedicated to you, I’d probably keep the stuff boxed up and sell it on ebay in a few years. I smell a collector’s item. Nuts to that, though. Your entertainment comes first!

So after all this time, after all this waitin', was it worth it? Will the stuff change the world? Will it make childhood complete again? In a nutshell, NO!

Let me just scream my disappointment to the world. Now I know now why I couldn’t find it anywhere. The shit stinks, literally and figuratively.

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the foul, smelly culprit

I was plenty excited about this whole thing. From the sweet score, to actually diggin' my fingers into those plastic cans. But after the first whiff, my fingers weren’t goin' anywhere near that funked up Play Doh. And believe you me, each can smelled progressively worse than the one before it. By the time I got to the 8th can, I was wishin' I was dead. I mean some of the stuff kinda smelled like what it was suppose to, but in a sick to your stomach sort of way. And some of the smells made absolutely no sense. Here’s what’s list on the box: Rose Garden, Pinemania, Shampoo, and the worst of smellin' of them all Shaving Cream. From here the “flavors” get a bit trippy. We’ve got Explorange (ok, I get it. Orange), Pinktastic (How the hell does Play Doh know what Pink smells like. And if that’s what Pink smells like, I hope to never smell again), Funshine Sunshine (apparently sunshine does have a smell. Who knew it was so bad) and Splurple (I don’t know. I don’t get it).

I took pics of each can, but I don’t know why. The cans aren’t even labeled by stink. Just by color. I think ya should know what you’re stinkin', right? Well, I’m not wastin' the space to show you each can. Believe you me, it ain’t worth it. So, in a nutshell, the Scented Play Doh stinks. And not in a good way, either. Do yourself a favor. DO NOT BUY THIS CRAP! Stink to the lovely scent of regular Play Doh. You’ll thank me for it.

Hopefully by next time I'll have this funk smell out of my nose.